Thursday, August 10, 2006

Pieism's Serious-ity

So more and more I'm convinced that mankind is not ready to comprehend our wonderful pastry-god.
While people seem interested, they are lost in a world of giant billboards advertising tampons and cannot see past the tampon advertisements on the radio.
It came to my attention an article on about pieism was removed because it was a "stupid joke religion."
Since is a multi-user group there is no one person we can blame.
We can however blame everyone.

Recently I was trying to bring up pieism in a forum debating religion and while a few people agreed pie was tasty, there was a couple of people who were against it. One said, "Until Pieism is embrased by serious scholars, I don't think that it qualifies as a real topic for debate." Obviously this person's opinion doesn't matter because he can't spell embrased and he smells, but there was someone of Christian faith who said the following:

"Jesus is the way the truth and the life.
I think that even if something comes close to Christianity, its merely a copy cat that is trying to add worldly views to God's way.
So i say that biblical christianity is the only way.

Pieism is some cult that has a wacked view point in life
"embrace the pie????"
"seek your inner fillings"

my word!!!!! If this is all that makes sense, you must really like pie...
seriously,can you explain how it is the only thing that makes sense?I can't see a thread beyond the best feel good philosophies of this world.

I will pray for you
God bless"

It makes the God of Tears weep, but it is a reality we must face. Not everyone is for Pieism. Well, I respect everyone's opinion. Whose to say what I believe is true? Maybe there is no God. Or maybe there is...and he is a giant pie and he slew a hundred zillion clowns with his pie server of justice. (The STALM Campbell 6:18)
You have to admit...isn't that a lot more entertaining then and old guy building a giant boat filled with every animal on earth?
Here, I'll tell you the story...
One day the Pie God whipped out his glorious pie server of justice and severed the heads of a hundred zillion clowns in one swipe. The End.

I think we can all agree that sounds a lot cooler then, "Lets get on a boat with animals. Oh no it smells really bad I forgot to install plumming and that animals shit on the ground everywhere and now my boat smells like every pile of shit in the animal kingdom, aaaah."

Anyway, the point is people aren't taking Pieism seriously.
I am thus promoting a new movement to spread awareness of pie.

For every Pieist you recruit, you'll earn 50 wonder points. Reach 1,000 points and you'll become level X and thus you'll be granted all the superpowers of the universe.

There, now go. You have your heading and incentive. Spread the word of pie. Go. Now. Do it. Don't make me hit you.

On another note, I just discovered that this website I spoke about in the last entry:
has a prophet called Fred Fred Burger.
I just saw an episode of Billy and Mandy that had a character by the same name. So nice try "The church of Pie," but making made up names like Bim Bam Booey and Dick Chenney aren't going to grant you level X.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Another sect of Pieism found!

I didn't believe it either. But there I saw on wikipedia (you know, that very reliable source of information) that someone had edited a pieism article and added a link to a blog all about it.
Here it is.

So I e-mailed the guy and he said he came up with "The Book of Pie" while sitting in class one day. Now what's strange is that this mysterious guy practices a sect that doesn't actually EAT pie.
That's right...pie is so holy to them, they refuse to eat it. Talk about extreme! I just saw The DaVinci Code with all that Opeis Dai this sect would be like the Pieism Opeis Dai. I'm pretty sure the followers put themselves into ovens and cook their bodies and hit themselves with whips that have pie servers attached to the ends. Stuff like that. I mean to love something so much but not have it? That's like marrying a hot woman and not having sex with it...-I mean her.

Of course what's even stranger is that there are now four seperate sects of Pieism. And all of them were created thinking that they were original over the past few years. It's kind of creepy if not inspiring, yes? Now really is the time for Pieism to rise up as the one true religion...with robots and ninjas and robot ninjas and even pirates. No robot pirates...'cause there's enough of them at Disneyland.

Want to do your own research on this?
Well, here's all the websites I know devoted to Pieism. There is more Pieism on the net...but those are usually on message boards. Type Pieism into GOOGLE and you'll see a lot of them.

This one.
The Holy Church of Pie.
The Pieism Group at MSN Groups.
and of course...
This new one.

All of these are individual sites. They're not connected. Each group "started" the religion. Undeniable proof at least that pie is good. We all believe in the greatness of pie. Soon this will have to be fact and not opinion...just like the sky is blue and the ocean is wet.

With all these different sects talking about Toilet Gods, Llamas, Hippos, Pies of do you know which one is right to follow? Whose beliefs are true? Well, I'm not here to discriminate against my fellow Pieists. You should believe what you want to believe.
But all those stupid jerks are wrong. I'm right.

Come on...Llamas?! What the fuck?

Monday, April 17, 2006

Rabbit Lizard Day

Rabbit Lizard Day was yesterday. My parents invited me over and we had peach pie. It was quite delicious. We had vanilla ice cream with it and whipped cream (naturally I make a mountain of cream on my plate).
I miss banana cream pie though. I haven't had it literally in years. I need to treat myself next time I'm at Cocos or something.

So what's with the gay post last time? Pretty gay if I do say so myself...Maybe I was voicing my opinion a little. But oh well.

Speaking of pie, anyone heard the musical Sweeney Todd? Not only does pie play an important role in the plot (people are baked into pies) but it's a great musical. In case noone knew, Jumbo...the Guard of the End of the Universe loves musicals. Needless to say I'm sure he likes this one.

Anyways, onto some personal notes...I miss hanging out with some of my old friends. Haven't seen Eugene, Roger, or Sean in a while. Come to think of it, I haven't hung out with Sam or Carolina in a long time either. But that's mostly 'cause none of us go and call eachother.

Good news is I'll probably see most of them this summer, as David wants to shoot a new movie (Beowulf). I found it odd that he wanted to since he's never wanted to for years except back when we did the videos for Mythology class. Maybe he's just gotten to a point in life where he's stable enough to start dreaming again.

Either way I'm excited. The movies I try and make are so hard. I can't get people interested in them...the motivation lacks and they never get made. David's enthusiasm will make the movie live eventually. We have all summer to work on it too. All we'll be doing is working long hours, so we'll need a project to keep our minds fresh and from going insane.

Yes...if you want to be in the movie let us know. We're not turning anyone away.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

What Pieism is all about...'s opening was on March 31st, which is also Pieism's celebrated "Swarming of the Pies." Since that day I've promoted the site on Myspace, various forums, and spoke of it to my personal friends.
The site has under 200 hits, which is terrible. Plublicity is scarce, and I'm trying to think of cheap inexpensive, non Spaming ways of promoting the site. It seems the majority of people's reactions is that the Religion is completely rediculous. Mind you, it is a small number of people, but nevertheless I've been trying to make the website more friendly to navigate and to learn about.
Still, people ask me what Pieism is about. It's about Pie, obviously...
The mythology is interesting and funny, but Pieism really is a way to live your life. Most of us practice it day to day already, save for the specifics of pie-eating and such.
The only code of what you must do is...

1. Like Pie
2. Don't Kill.
3. Don't Steal.
4. Have a Sense of Humor
5. Don't Waste Your Life.

Pieism is all about empowering ourselves as people. Making the day to day count...making society more friendly by being kind to those around us. But also having a sense of humor and noting how Life can be a bitch sometimes... Life is so busy we often get lost in our jobs, school, and work...Religion should be a means to escape that, but for some of us, we just don't want to be preached to, or we don't believe in organized religion, or more often than not, we are consumed in our day to day lives and the idea of spirituality is impossible for our practical, tangible world.

Well take Pie. Pie is real. We've all seen it. There's something we can believe in. The goodness of Pie (well, as long as you enjoy pie). Of course there's all sorts of Pies, so it's hard to not like at least one form or another. Therefore Pie is universal.
But, there are plenty of other things in this world we enjoy.
Take cellphones. Take chinese finger traps or those little army men with the plastic parachutes. They're all real things, and part of our society. We can believe in them.
Praying to the chinese fingertrap and little army men with plastic parachutes god is praying to the God of Useless Crap. Whereas praying to the God of Cellphones is praying to the God of Technology. All of Pieism's gods are modeled after things in our day to day lives.
Ironically praying to such Gods sort of basterdizes Religion, no? We're basically praying to our own inventions and everything we have created over the past decades and in pop culture. Pieism is therefore a religion highly concentrated in aspects of mankind and society.

I know tons of people who claim themselves Agnostic or Atheist. A lot of these people have been practicing Pieism for years, they just don't know it yet. Most teenagers are great candidates in that they are consumed in pop culture and material things. Even children idolize their video games and action figures, and we can learn a lot from that. Enjoy what you can see. You see all these material things everyday and use them everyday. Why not be thankful for them? What is life without them? Have you ever imagined life without your precious cellphone or computer?
Maybe a more appropriate name for this kind of Materialism is Materialism or Tangibleism or something...but Materialism isn't always necessarily a good thing...

Of course adding the mythology about the world baking in a giant oven by a Pie God, and all the other colorful stories of Pieism is just icing on the cake, and has to do more with accepting life's mystery...and who are we to say its not true? I believe Pieism is more plausible than most religions. We can see, touch, and taste most of the things Pieism's gods embody. There's not much faith asked for. But to believe in an idea purely on feeling is a bit different, though you could argue your God "created the earth, trees, and sky and we can see them, therefore He must exist," I'm not asking anyone to have faith in a mysterious presence that cannot be explained logically. I'm just saying, Pies, Cakes, and Pointy Objects are everywhere, so lets worship them...and...believe that a mysterious presence that cannot be explained logically looks like a pie and baked the world in a giant oven.
The belief in these gods could be looked at as satire, but really, that's the whole point. Humor is the best cure for taking the world too seriously. We all need to grow up to survive in the world of course, but laughter comes too few in the day for a lot of us.
Laughter can cure depression, prayer can't. You can make someone laugh and you're given instant results. Pray for someone and your heart may be in the right spot, but you're asking for a magical omnipotence to help out, when you could aid that person yourself. Naturally all gods want us to do what we must do by ourselves. It's not like we have a giant almighty butler to do everything for us. I'm sure "He" has enough things to do as it is anyway, despite how cool a Buter God would be.
You'd be surprised that most depressed people just want someone to listen to them. But it doesn't have to be a one on one emotional encounter. Any happy little distraction can add relief for these persons. Telling a joke. Slipping on a banana peel.
And laughter may be the only thing to keep the physically ill from dwelling on their problems nonstop. Some may turn to Religion as something to believe in when all else seems lost, and when that happens I think Religion is a good thing. It keeps the mind hopeful and optimistic, no? It gives us something to believe in...something to strive for. But if we believe in ourselves and the experience of life and family and all that warm fuzzy stuff, we can keep the mind busy too AND have an aim in make the world a good place to be. Really, making the most out of the time you have left in your predicament is good advice no matter what you believe in.
Besides, The Pie God has got your back when all else fails. ;)